The BDSM Sanctuary is a safe haven where those in BDSM can share their spirituality that others may not understand. It is not important that you share this deep BDSM spirituality as much as it is that you accept that there are those in the BDSM lifestyle that do have this BDSM spirituality. This article of Understanding was written by Goddess Mistress Kay. All rights are protected and you are asked NOT to copy this information but instead provide O/others with a link so that this information is available to those that need or desire it. Click here for other links to BDSM Spirituality
This Article is part of slave Training by Mistress Kay
Universal BDSM Spirituality
Article of Understanding
© Mistress Kay, 2003
Some in the BDSM lifestyle do not have BDSM spirituality. This is the way it is. Just because you enjoy BDSM does not mean that you have a Universal BDSM spirituality calling. Not everyone here on earth has the same task. This is written and directed to those that have a BDSM Spiritual calling.
One might wonder how the spirituality of a lifestyle BDSM person is different than the spirituality of any other person. The difference is, that if you are a part of the BDSM spirituality then you live it – not just claim to be it, or have read a book on it, or just attend a building once a week to worship. A slave worships their Owner 24/7, no matter where they are, or what they are doing. The Owner is always responsible for the spiritual being and welfare of the slave.
This statement in no way is a reflection on organized religions. You can be any religion (and practice any religion) and still understand the Universal Spirituality of BDSM. Call the Universal force and energy whatever you wish if you wish to name IT. The name does not matter, for in this case, it is not the letters of the word but the spirit of the words that matter.
For the purpose of this writing I shall use a term I found, and am very comfortable in using, as it encompasses all organized religious believes from Christianity to Pagan, from New Age to Ancient Egyptian, from Zen to all others. So please feel free to think of whatever word best suits you as I use the term ULEK (Universal Love, Energy, and Knowledge™)
To experience the deepest spiritual experiences one needs to look past formalized religion. No matter what your belief system is, if you go to the base of the religion you will find Universal Love, Energy, and Knowledge. When you surpass the dogma of the religious structure you can reach true spirituality. And Atheists, I shall include you also for your scientific understanding of logic and the human reaction in BDSM is still in the understanding of Love (emotions); Energy (the exchange of power/accepting the bodily contact or giving it); and Knowledge (both parties have learned experience in BDSM, and with each O/other). With this all encompassing concept and word ULEK™; I shall begin to express the understanding of spirituality in BDSM, for the Dominate and the slave.
If you have a belief of religion then know it is IT that has made you a Mistress, Queen, Goddess, or a slave. If you don’t believe in religion then it has been a set of circumstances and experiences that have lead you here. It is ULEK that has guided you to read this. Be it the hand of Chance, Fate, Destiny, an Omnipotent force, or even a typo you are in fact here for a reason. In being here, you are filling your destiny, perhaps guided by ULEK, but definitely not in evil or in sin. It is now time that you understand how much BDSM is a part of you and has integrated itself into all forms of who and what you are; from the physical, to the mental, within emotions, and within your spirit.
It is time that you accept that you are living a BDSM spiritual way and not ‘living in sin’. Sin is a concept that was created to maintain order in a male society. It was designed to control females in a way that the males perceived they desired. Sin is the concept of control, fear, and guilt but not one of a spiritual nature. It is not wrong to do what you feel from spirit. Spirit would never guide you to harm any one or anything. Spiritual BDSM is a consenting action that is done in love and in unity with the Universe. BDSM. Spirituality never involves desires of intimate contact with children nor animals for it would harm them spiritually, be mentally confusing, they would have a self-conflict causing emotional trauma, and probably be physically effected also. Neither of these are ways of spirituality. BDSM spirituality is always beneficial to all parties, in all ways.
All spirituality is based in love, mutual consent, and the efforts to reach a higher understanding, a higher pleasure, a higher spiritual experience. Now, you are here to learn more about that BDSM spirituality that you know exists. Many liken BDSM to a hobby, an addiction, and a taste but once it has been experienced you know that you seek to understand more and experience more. Part of this reason, I believe, is because BDSM has brought you closer to spirituality than you achieve in any other state.
BDSM has a way of making the participants focus intently on the activity. It is a time that you experience the ‘now’ of what is happening. It allows each to focus on one another beyond what most experience in times other than play. Think of how easily you are distracted. But how easily are you distracted during playtime? The mind, the emotions, the body, become one and are then able to focus on the present, on what you are experiencing at that moment. Many eastern philosophies believe that the highest point of spirituality is to be able to be completely in the NOW.
It is this rare melding of what and whom you are that allows spirituality to be intense. The connection you feel during the time of play is more intense than in other times. Even if you are not in a committed relationship with the person you are playing with, during a scene all your thoughts, your mind, your body, and your spirit are one with each other and one with the other(s) person(s) you are in a BDSM scene with.
I have heard it said from a Dominant, that during play ‘I want to love you more than I have ever loved anyone. I want you to obey Me, to love Me, and worship Me more than you have ever done before – well at least until the scene in over’. And this concept is applied to those NOT in a relationship but for just a scene. Those that play and believe in this fullness of attention and devotion to each other during the scene understand the concept of BDSM Spirituality.
There are differences in the BDSM Spirituality experience for the Dominate and the slave. In most of the further writing I will focus on the couple where there is an Owner and a slave. Most of this would still apply even if you don’t play often or you have change in partnerships. It is just that the relationship that offers the highest BDSM Spirituality is a long-term couple because the two as a couple have the knowledge of the O/other. Both the Dominate and the slave heart share the unique understanding that BDSM brings your body, mind, heart, and even soul together as who you are.
Before one can truly give himself or herself over as a slave, they must understand or feel the principals of slave spirituality. An Owner should know enough to comprehend whether or not the person that they will give a collar to is ready for that collar. As a slave it is imperative that you have the chance to first live like a human. Being like a human, then a slave, makes you more valuable since what you give up you understand you are giving up. So the offering of yourself to slavery is much more valuable.
Before you can be a slave you must experience life as an individual with success, failure, and ego. In the beginning of your life, you sought to become all that the brainwashing of society dictated. The selfish desires for a good job, decent to high wages, education, keeping up with the Jones, and adhering to the social structure of normalcy were all things that a slave heart had to learn. These things do not come naturally to the slave heart. And once you are collared they shall fade into the past. All these things you have done are lessons to prepare yourself to serve.
No two personalities are the same, no two slaves offer the same thing. Each slave is individualistic. Although all slaves in a ‘house’ will be taught much in the same manner and have the same rules to follow they work as a team. No Owner wants a stupid creature to have to instruct on daily functions. A slave must be smarter than a dog and smarter than any animal. The slave is a reflection on the Owner. The Owner seeks an intelligent being who will work and strive to be the perfect slave. An Owner seeks someone who understands dedication and can still have a conversation on whatever level the Owner desires. The slave must understand the society constraints in order to function within them as a slave and as a being that works for a living for the Owner.
An Owner also enjoys the small intricacies of the slave they allow them to keep and to express; like personality traits (wisdom, humor, wit, sarcasm, shyness, intelligence, the gift for gab and many other things that are part of whom the slave is). It is in fact this personality that should have been the basis of the beginning friendship during the wearing of a Collar of Consideration and Training Collar.
Yes, I said friendship. Before the slave heart could be Owned there had to be some time when the Owner was evaluating the slave. This should be done as the slave begins to trust the Owner –to-be, or the training at this point of the relationship. Through common interests and grounds the Owner/Trainer and the slave begin the walk together. This is a time of a D/s relationship.
As Dominates read this section on the slave heart I am sure They will nod Their heads and smile. The slave will feel relief that it is understood by other Dominates. Both the Dominate and the slave will learn that what the have been thinking is known and shared thoughts of O/others. It is nice to see the deep understanding in print. It is the slave heart, the slave destiny, has brought you here to experience and become what you have always been – one with a slave heart.
It is important to note that a slave is a very special creature. As one with a slave heart you first had to learn to be human. I say learn because it is your true nature to be a slave so learning how to act human had to be taught. It was probably difficult for you to have grown into an independent, capable, intelligent and resourceful human. It probably felt a little wrong. Most of the time you thought that there was something different you should be doing. A nagging force that seemed to constantly urge you to find out what it is…. And now you are here.
There had to be the times of searching for where you belonged. Then as your eyes opened to BDSM you found the appeal exciting and a new surge of energy. In finding BDSM you knew you had found a path that you had to walk. Then the slave had to deal with a struggle of finding yourself with slave desires that seemed contrary to what you had to first learn to become. But when those slave desires surfaced and felt right. It is this tough path that you had to walk alone to come to understanding your slave heart and the slave spirituality.
If you have not walked this path of the slave heart, then you would have no concept of what it is like to give so fully and completely of the self. To give, you must have something to give up, and understandings of what others think you give up. But yet the slave is not really giving up anything. The slave is just being what it is – a slave.
In your development, the slave heart has endured the pains of realizing that all they are and all that they have means nothing to them unless they can give it to an Owner, to know they are owned, and to serve that Owner. The slave must seek out to find the Owner that understands what the slave’s purpose is so that slave can be used and taken into ownership; so the slave can finally find rest and peace in a collar of Ownership. Perhaps a slave has a purpose to have more than one true Owner but that is rare.
A slave heart first learns to act like a human. They must develop in this society as a human in order to understand how to function within society once they have been accepted as a slave. One that is a true slave and is taken by an Owner is not a human anymore. They are simply a different personality and precious being on the earth who was placed here to serve the universe through the Dominant. It is with delight and joy the slave learns this and begins accepting the search towards the Owner. For it is only when the slave and the Owner are together that T/they both can do as ULEK intended. This does not mean together all the time or even sexually ever. It mean that once that connection is made then the slave understands it’s purpose better and can work towards it’s destiny through the guidance of the Owner.
The Spiritual BDSM Dominate is highly in tune with ULEK™. A slave needs the Dominate in order to learn more about spiritual levels achieved through BDSM activities. The slave may be spiritual or religious but the levels reached through BDSM are very different and can not be found in just meditation and prayer. Due to the fact that the mind, body, and soul connect with each other during play the slave can be taken to an euphoric state.
In going to this ‘sub-space’ the slave experiences becoming balanced and in tune within itself. After feeling that total connectivity of all parts of itself, the slave can drift in this state during play. During these times play can come very intense and heavy. This is a sort of ‘high’ where the body and brain chemistry has released endorphins allowing the slave to take more extreme physical punishments. The slave is very willing to do anything for the Owner (or almost anyone) at this time. It is the responsibility of the Owner to protect the slave during this venerable state. The Owner can also reach this same ‘high’ through the slave going to ‘sub-space’ This is because the Owner and the slave are so connected to one another. The Owner must take care to always stay focused enough to be safe in all actions. The Owner must also take care to ‘bring down’ or ‘bring back’ the slave from ‘sub-space’. The slave will experience very deep emotions as they transcend back into full reality. The Owner should comfort and protect the slave until they have completely regained all of their facilitates.
Being of a slave heart; your spirit has longed to find the spiritual BDSM connection. This connection is far stronger and more important than finding love in a normal vanilla relationship. This connection between the Owner and the slave is spiritual in the greatest sense because the slave has found the Owner that will take them onto the next path they must journey. Although one could assume a slave does not do much spiritual work while in ‘sub-space’ it brings them into a state of being to allow spiritual connectivity with the Universe. In just making that connection, the Owner and the slave can be more aware of the Universe. The Universe guides U/us in many ways. For example - this writing was not constructed for My pleasure but as part of My duty to the principles ULEK™ and BDSM.
We can never understand why but there is a Universal Energy that has placed the slave spirit in this path to meet the Owner. It will be not the Goddess that comes seeking you but She will present Herself in places for you to make a connection with Her. It is the slave that must endure the search to find the Owner. A slave must work hard and accomplish many things. A slave obeys and desires hard work to reach a goal to satisfy. While the Owner knows what is best for the slave heart; the Owner must have the submissive properly trained for the slave to fuller of spirituality and happier than ever before. Submissives that are in a training collar seek training. A slave heart needs that training.
People not in this lifestyle will never understand that a slave heart is a high spiritual calling. Having the spirit of the slave makes you a wonderful being. A slave can not lie, cheat, and be dishonest, manipulative. Since a slave no longer has anything of their own, they do not play in egotistical games of ‘keeping up with the Jones’. The slave has released the societal taboos and instead has become a vessel for their Owner to direct in ways of pleasures and pains. These pleasures and pains as well as the obedience will allow the slave heart to open and expand in love. A slave lives a totally unselfish life. So they are very trustworthy with no hidden agendas. A slave has nothing, so they can not be corrupted. The wants that the slave does have are focused on the Owner and it is the Owner who has the tremendous responsibility of caring for the slave in a spiritual way.
As the Owner trains the submissive to become a slave, they teach them how to have an open spiritual BDSM slave heart. Once a submissive is taken as a slave they should have no doubts in life. It is the Owner who has to teach the slave how to accept the trust of their life to the Owner. It is that deep of a connection with a true Owner (and not just a Mistress or Trainer). An Owner should never attempt to own the slave until the slave is ready to give over all that they have ever been and all that they may ever be. That is a tremendous tribute to be given and the Owner should understand the magnitude of that gift.
The trainer (who is not necessarily the Owner to be) must make sure that the submissive can walk in the direction of BDSM spirituality. Along with teaching pain endurance, positions, modes of function, and general duties the teacher provides spiritual guidance so that the slave heart can remain open and function as it was always meant to function. The Trainer teaches this but does not accept a spiritual connection with those they train. As a slave learns how to open the slave heart, they can often misplace their devotions. There are not that many slave Trainers that can teach to this depth much less teach the slave how to be open and not attach to the Trainer. It is for this reason that most Owners will train Their submissive to be Their slave.
The submissive learns how to hear without speech. The slave heart will learn to feel the Owner; no matter where the Owner is. When the Owner is physically there, orders may come by hand signals, body language, or words. When the Owner is not present the slave must still have the assurance of knowing that the actions they are doing are correct. This is achieved through the spiritual connection and the training of the slave heart to be open.
The Owner does not have to give commands in order for the slave to remain functioning. As the slave heart is opened, the slave will come to understand that they are indeed an extension of Owner and will do and act as Owner wishes. The slave will be so much a part of the Owner that the self becomes joined with Owner so that the slave knows that they are part of Owner. There are no worries for a slave, as the slave never has to wonder what to do. A slave always acts as Owner desires.
The projection to society may seem ordinary but because of the spiritual connection the slave knows they are always Owned. It is this spiritual BDSM that allows a slave to know that if he is making million-dollar decisions at work or just going to the store that all actions are being done for the Owner. A slave exists within the Owner’s spirit. The Owner comes from a place of ULEK ™ so all actions the slave does must then also be spiritual to reach a higher level for Owner as well as the slave’s spirituality. The Owner is responsible to be sure that actions are completed in an educational and caring manner for the spiritual betterment of Everyone and for slaves. This responsibility that the Owner has to the Universe is therefore the duty of the slave. Each and every human has the responsibility to make the world and our immediate environment a better place to live (in all ways).
The BDSM slave spirituality allows you to experience utter joy. Being Owned you are in a state of constant obedience. The only pleasure a slave feels is the joy they receive when they complete a task and order from Owner. Since the slave is Owned and always under the direction of Owner many daily conflicts of emotion, finances, and even morality are already taken care of as the slave only acts in obedience and as the extension of the Owner. What the Owner thinks and feels so shall the slave heart understand. Since there is this understanding, there are no arguments between slave and Owner.
No matter what you read or how much you find pleasure in BDSM there is no possible way for another to make you have a slave heart. How to ‘act’ like a slave can be taught but to be a slave is natural and spiritual. The slave seeks their true Owner to finally be a part of the Owner; then feeling complete. A slave may have a separate physical being from the Owner but the slave is a part of the Owner. For the slave to feel whole they must find the Owner that they are a part of so that they can feel the rest of themselves. Remember that this can be one Owner or a few Owners (though rare) or it can be the Owner and the Owner’s other slave that are needed to feel complete.
Once a slave finds it’s Owner, there is no contract needed and no negotiation. The slave rejoices in finally being able to be what and who they are and will do anything to offer themselves over to the Owner. Many slaves will not find their Owner right away and instead will meet Dominates that shall have a temporary rule. The Dominate teaches the submissive so that they can be ready for a true Owner.
Take a moment to think of science for this analogy. Remember the big bang theory? The concept is that from nothing there was something – a big bang that sent out shards of matter. The large piece (the Owners) had so much gravity (power) that they attracted smaller fragments (the slave) to them. The smaller pieces melded into the larger powerful piece. And from that melding (the formal collaring) the fragment (the slave) was never again separate but existed only as a part of the larger piece (the Owner), under its control and force from that time on. As a spiritual being the slave heart needs to find the Owner. The Owner knows when they meet a fragment that should meld into them. An Owner may have many fragments to collect.
The spiritual concept for the Owner still uses the big bang theory. After the expansion of the universes, scientists say, there has been a stopping point and now the pieces and fragments are slowly moving backwards. Each large piece collecting smaller pieces and fragments along the way. The Owner collects these spiritual BDSM soul pieces to become a larger soul cluster. This is the reason that BDSM has been becoming group oriented. So all the larger soul pieces can connect with one another. Through time as more of the larger pieces meld, W/we all will once again be whole. Some people understand the concept of a ‘twin flame’ or a ‘soul mate’. This is much the same type of unity feeling. Whereas some people are brought together in larger soul clusters from finding a ‘soul mate’, through religious practices or as an Owner and a slave there is no difference. The point is the same. The soul pieces are coming together.
As you can see the Owner has a very great and monumental BDSM spiritual task. The Owner must have the fortitude to accept the worship from submissives and slaves. The Owner must have the character to accept the great responsibility of Ownership. As the slave has its destiny so does the Owner (Mistress, Queen, Goddess). The destiny of the Owner is to aid the soul pieces and assist them all in merging into soul clusters. This tight unity is why often the term ‘house’ is used as the location of the Owner and the Owner’s slaves. It is indeed a loving family with each one having assigned duties. It is the group as a whole that makes the ‘house’ a warm and functioning place for Owner and slaves.
When referring to a Female as an Owner it is common to refer to Them as a Mistress. However; the word ‘Mistress’ can be used in several ways within BDSM Spirituality.
The word Mistress can be used in many different ways:
Some Mistresses may only have one slave heart that they Own and merely others to play with. Most Queens have several slaves that are to do Her biding and to provide Her with happiness and prosperity. In the case that you serve a Queen, the slave must understand that each slave should rejoice in knowing that all the slaves per Queen or Goddess are all connected together to serve Her. This means that each of the slaves are then also connected together.
A Queen will often do the training of a slave for another to Own. A true slave can not feel jealousy when a Queen has a scene with, trains, or Owns another. As a slave is not to have any ego based concerns of jealousy. Jealousy would imply that one slave is better than another. Jealousy would also imply that the slave thought Mistress was not giving them adequate attention. Mistress does not need to give you attention. Remember that you are a part of Her. She always knows you are there.
The slaves that are Owned by One will be very different in personality, function, tasks, and spiritual level of connection but they are all equal to one another. If a slave feels jealous then it is often that the slave is not allowing the slave heart to be open, to feel the ever presence of the Mistress Queen.
One slave is not better trained than another, merely at a different level. The slave may also be assigned a different task or function than other slaves (a sissy maid, a gardener, a housekeeper, a coffee bitch, a cook, a personal servant, a personal attendant, a driver, a sexual servant, etc…). There may seem like there is a sexual preference between male and female and that can be on the physical level. There is no difference of the physical form at the spiritual level. It is possible that your Owner will never have a sexual connection with you.
Like a parent loves all the children so does a Queen love all Her slaves. Each Queen has at least two collars but may have many that She is destined to fill. One that has this responsibility may have a few slaves at the same time or in unison. A Queen or Goddess may have both slaves and submissives.
There will be a hierarchy established by the Queen to maintain obedience; so that all slaves can feel the power of the Queen. Whether a command is from the mouth of the Queen or from Her assigned number one, the command is the same. The number one is simply the hand of the Queen or Goddess. There are many different names that can be given to the slave that holds this position. Understand that the reason that particular slave is in this position is because this is what the Queen desires. It may be that the Queen prefers a female slave to rule her stable of male slaves. This is usually the case in a gynarchic system. The Queen may prefer to name the number one the person She is most sexually intimate with or married to even in vanilla life. A Queen can offer this position as a reward or in rotation. The number one may be named so because they understand how the Queen wishes Her submissives and slaves to behave. In any or all the above cases, the Queen has Her reasons. That reason is not important for slaves to understand. All that matters is that there is a reason that She has planned. And that is reason enough.
A Mistress Queen Goddess is the third spiritual BDSM level. A Goddess has many tasks and endeavors; usually being a very busy person. A Goddess is involved in or known by the BDSM community. Her presence is known and felt even by male Dominants. Others often see her spiritual energy as a sexual energy. Many people tend to be attracted towards Her. She can make friends easily. She has self-respect and limited ego projection. She knows She is a Goddess and does not need to prove this to anyone. As all spiritual people are, She is honest and seeks higher understandings for Herself as well as those around Her. A Goddess has respect for slaves as She understands how important they are so some may see Her as complacent or too easy. But a submissive or slave needs to remember protocol and accept the honors and rewards of Her bestowing human compliments or direction to the slave. A Goddess loves Her creatures and this love is shown by Her respect for your welfare, in spirit and in all regards.
A Goddess can understand that love and responsibility to blood family must always be considered. There are times that a slave may be Owned but marriage or circumstances restrict how they serve the Owner. A Goddess can manage complete control without being controlling into the vanilla life. She knows that the slave will not forget Her and She is confident that the slave knows whom they are Owned by.
One difficult thing is that a Goddess must be selective in whom She allows to connect to Her. Because She is experienced, friendly, personable, intelligent, fun, erotic, captivating and such, submissives are eager to serve Her. But Universe destines each Goddess to have several positions that need to be filled for Her to be all that She desires and all that the Universe has deemed Her to be. Each slave She has will be very different. A Goddess has the responsibility to allow the right slaves to meld with Her. She must be sure that the melding will benefit the whole of Her cluster and in doing so She is serving ULEK™, Herself, those She trains, those She plays with, and those She Owns.
A Goddess will seem different in the BDSM lifestyle than a Mistress. She will have a
very natural way about Her. She will be educated and experienced in BDSM and spirituality.
She will not be as ego based. She knows She has nothing to prove and will tend to not be
involved in ‘clicks’ and inner group politics. She will be different so that
O/others with negative and unhealthy, non-spiritual BDSM energy will leave Her alone and
not waste Her time. She does not attempt to prove Herself for She knows She is a Goddess.
In Her acceptance of this as a fact, O/others also see Her BDSM spirituality.
Because She has an understanding of ULEK™, She will seem very open minded to many of the fetishes and inner sub-categories of BDSM. Instead of confining Herself to one group or sect of people in the BDSM lifestyle She will be known to many different groups. She may be a member of a few of the local BDSM groups but will tend to disregard those that are politically based or egotistically managed.
She will likely have a wide array of pleasures. She allows pleasure for Herself as a Mistress but Her destiny is to be a Goddess. This means that She has a lot of spiritual and human work to do. If you are a Goddess you must accept that you have this responsibility to humankind, to slaves, and to O/others to assist them in reaching their spiritual destiny. A Goddess is also a Queen to the world with Her main responsibility being to teach O/others. A slave heart that belongs to a Goddess must understand how important She is and accept that they are part of this importance.
Remember that a Mistress, a Goddess, a Queen, whichever you are as an Owner, means that you have a universal destiny to complete; be it with one slave or several slaves. The Goddess also has the additional spiritual task to teach O/others about the BDSM spirituality, to gather Sisters together, to join those of like mind together.
Since it is your destiny that has lead you here to read this, you must accept that destiny has a plan. All the tools you need to reach your destiny are put before you. With this understanding you have what you need to understand your BDSM spirituality, be ye a slave, a Mistress, a Queen, or a Goddess. In any case, you serve yourself or you serve the Universe. Both can not be done at the same time. Serve your destiny of BDSM Spirituality, or not. There is no trying to be of BDSM spirituality. Either you are or you are not. If it interests you then perhaps you have just begun your long journey to understanding.
Again and again those with a BDSM spiritual calling will have difficulties if they stray from the path. One can not escape the spirituality in BDSM. It is who you are and who you wish to be that moves you in the same direction over and over until you finally realize that you have the heart, mind, body, and soul of a slave or the realization that you are a Mistress, a Queen, a Goddess. When these things are understood and accepted, then you walk the path you were destined to travel. When the time is right, you will know. When you meet the person/people that you are to be with, you will know – as long as you allow your spirit to guide you, the Universe will provide you with unlimited love and understandings.
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